Bag Chair Man - or, an Outrageous Episode

“Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?”

“My bag’s on it.”

I looked around. Every other chair in sight had a tush in it.

This was the exchange I had with an obviously petty, cankerous (and rather overweight and unhealthy-looking) fellow while waiting for dinner (before watching a truly amazing production of Fortinbras – Dagney Kerr, the actress who played Kathy, Buffy’s annoying college roommate in the beginning of Season 4, was starring as the ghost of Ophelia). Juliana had reserved us tickets as industry, meaning we didn’t have to pay for the $20 show. So we caught dinner at this place called Pitfire Pizza right down the street from the theatre, and it must have been popular because there were no tables left.

We positioned ourselves on a knee-high ledge bordering the perimeter of the restaurant, and secured one of the cheap red plastic chairs – the only piece of furniture we had – all tables were taken. The plan was to use the ledge as a table, and to find one more chair. That’s when I approached the fellow sitting next to us, who had only one dining companion, but three chairs (and a table to boot!).

Needless to say, we failed in finding another chair, but made do with the ledge, and had a wonderful dinner while staring daggers into the back of Petty Bag Chair Man.

What happened to the good ol’ days (or just places other than LA – ie: 1952 Alabama) when people gave up their own seats for others? Now we’re in competition with bags.

And it wasn’t even a nice bag. It was like an oversized man-purse.