If I'm gay, should I be "allowed" to say "That's SO gay." ??

Anderson Cooper got it...well, halfway right.

Here's the video, and this is in regards to that movie, "The Dilemna,", which uses the term "So Gay" in the trailer. AC got it right in that the phrase should probably not be used, but I say it's only half right in context. It's the same thing with people using the n-word. If I'm black and I call another person the n-word, that's not a problem. But I'm not, so I am not allowed to use it. Just like I'm "allowed" to call another Asian person the c-word or a FOB, but god help someone who's NOT Asian who calls me or another Asian person that.

The L Word (in the pilot episode) actually uses the term "so gay," but because the characters who use it ARE gay, that makes it "ok." So the question I pose is, should there be any time when these terms, or rather, the way the term "so gay" is used, are ok? Or should they be completely stricken from our vocabulary. One other term in recent memory has undergone the striking out - "retarded" or "retard". So it's possible to get to the point where you can use "gay" to talk about someone's identity, or the community, or as a political term, but where it would NOT be ok to say "that's so gay." Maybe this restriction in phrase should also apply to gay people, not just straight ones?

Systems and Cultures: Sarah Silverman takes on gay teen suicides

Quick excerpt from the draft of an intro of a paper I'm writing. Goes along with the system and cultures idea:

Without DADT and Proposition 8 completely repealed, the government sends a very clear message to the public that being gay is not OK. Sarah Silverman addresses this issue in the Huffington Post in October 2010, saying

"Dear America, when you tell gay Americans that they can’t serve their country openly or marry the person that they love, you’re telling that to kids too. So don’t be fucking shocked and wondering where all these bullies are coming from that are torturing young kids and driving them to kill themselves because they’re different. They learned it from watching you.”

Silverman touches on something very poignant in her rant. She points to the fact that it is, in fact, the culture of America, that is unaccepting of gay Americans, but that this culture is derived from the legislative system that treats gays and lesbians as second-class citizens.

So the burning question becomes, how long after the legislative system changes will the culture follow suit?